A Family Constellations session is a profound experience that can last between 30 minutes and 2 hours. The process reveals hidden dynamics of the family system and seeks a resolution image that brings peace to the client and their system.
1Before the Session
Client Preparation:
• Reflect on the issue you want to work on
• You don't need to know all family history, but basic information helps
• Come with an open mind and heart
• It's normal to feel nervous or intense emotions beforehand
The Working Topic:
Constellations can address:
• Relationship problems or difficulty finding a partner
• Conflicts with parents, children, or siblings
• Repetitive patterns (failures, illnesses, accidents)
• Economic or professional difficulties
• Unresolved grief
• Feeling of not belonging or carrying others' burdens
2The Step-by-Step Process
1. Initial Interview:
The facilitator asks brief questions about the topic and family. Not many details are sought; work is done with essentials: important facts like early deaths, abortions, divorces, adoptions, emigrations, violence, etc.
2. Selection of Representatives:
The client chooses people from the group to represent relevant family members (parents, partner, children, ancestors, etc.). They may also choose a representative for themselves.
3. Initial Placement:
The client places representatives in the space according to intuition, without thinking too much. This initial arrangement already reveals information about family dynamics.
4. The Field Unfolds:
Representatives begin to experience sensations, emotions, and impulses that are not theirs, but belong to the people they represent. This phenomenon (called "representative perception") is the heart of constellations.
5. Facilitator Intervention:
The facilitator may:
• Ask representatives about what they feel
• Move representatives to new positions
• Add representatives (ancestors, excluded ones)
• Propose healing phrases
• Guide toward a resolution image
6. Resolution Image:
The work culminates when a configuration is found where all system members are at peace, each in their correct place, with restored bonds.
3Healing Phrases
Healing phrases are statements that help restore order in the system. Some common ones include:
To acknowledge:
• "I see you"
• "Now you have a place in my heart"
• "You belong to our family"
To release burdens:
• "This is too big for me"
• "I leave this with you, where it belongs"
• "I carry only what is mine"
To honor:
• "Thank you for life"
• "I honor your destiny"
• "What you did, you did out of love"
To take the parents:
• "Yes, mom/dad"
• "I take the life you gave me"
• "I accept everything that comes with it"
Phrases are spoken when they truly resonate, not as empty formulas. The facilitator proposes, but the client only says them if they feel authentic.
4After the Session
Integration:
• The effects of a constellation may take days, weeks, or months to integrate
• It's normal to feel tired, emotional, or strange the following days
• Avoid over-analyzing; let the work settle
• Some changes are subtle, others dramatic
Recommendations:
• Don't talk too much about the constellation immediately
• Allow yourself to rest
• Keep the resolution image within you
• Don't seek immediate results
• Trust the process
Possible Changes:
• Improvement in family relationships
• Feeling of peace or relief
• Changes in behavior patterns
• Significant dreams
• Synchronicities
• Greater clarity about decisions